Posts tagged teeth
I never realized how much fun I was having while taking photos of food, until I started to review all of the photos that I have created over just the past few years.
you know, the tragic irony is that i had all my teeth removed, because it was the only way to end the immense pain that i experienced on a regular basis. now, maybe because i don’t possess the teeth to enjoy it all, based on my own decision, i am more obsessed with photographing food than ever.
The word “dynasty” has the word “nasty” in it, which is ironic, because I’m listening to ‘the prodigy’ “nasty“.
This is my tribute to the almighty powerful consumer food product consumer for something known as yellow number five. Even though apples are red, someone, somewhere would probably add some yellow no. 5 just to “zazz it up” a little.
This was some really sexy meat, at an all you can eat casino buffet in Las Vegas. I know that you can find a big buffet just about anywhere, but this city is packed full with so many cool places to eat. There is such a diversity in the people who visit, and that diversity shows in the many types of foods that you can obtain.
Candy has had an opportunity to try out so many foods while living here that may not have been available where we lived before, Baton Rouge Louisiana. There was quite a selection there too, but mostly the large franchised places that exist just about everywhere. I am not quite sure if Candy could have found such variety so easily back there. Russian, Italian, Filipino, Cantonese, Japanese, Korean, and of course Indian food. All those excellent kinds of foods are easy to find here in Vegas, and Candy didn’t hesitate to try out just about everything she could find. I think that the only type of food I have seen all over the place here that she hasn’t tried yet is the middle eastern stuff. Indian food comes close, but it’s not quite like Mediterranean.
In the casino buffet where a few of these pics are from, they had an assortment of different national foods right there. In the photo above, there is a taco station in the “Mexican” section, and then right next to that there was a section called “homestyle” or something, and I am guessing it was “southern food”.
There was even a section called “American” but I think that was mostly “southern” or “soul food” because of the greens and smoked sausage. I know there was a section called “international” too, but I could not figure out exactly what that was supposed to be because everything was covered and served by someone behind the counter.
Living in Vegas means that there is a Filipino place in walking distance, right in the parking lot with a strip mall that also includes about 6 other restaurants and a supermarket. In that one strip mall and enclosed parking lot there is a Jack In the Box, a Taco Bell (new), a China Star (Chinese buffet), and then there is the Filipino place, a Thai BBQ, and one small Chinese place in the strip mall itself.
Oh man, I’m forgetting about a small Mexican restaurant in between all of that! We’ve never even tried the small Chinese or Mexican places that lie in the strip mall itself, but Candy has tried every restaurant in the parking lot except for the Taco Bell, only because it hasn’t even opened yet. It will, and that will make the closest Taco Bell in walking distance too, which is ironic because I would be better off walking there to work off the added calories of eating there!
Filipino food really trips me out because there are whole fish in some dishes. Yeah, head and all. I’m sure that is similar to some Vietnamese dishes, which I think we have yet to try out so far. Candy’s favorite dish from the Filipino place is Dinuguan, which i have tried and it just tastes like beef liver to me. I do like liver though, but there is a very complex assortment of other flavors in the spices they use with it.
Now that I read up on it, I realize that they don’t have to use much liver if the base of the gravy is pork blood. I guess that’s where the liver or mineral taste comes from. It is Candy’s fav from the Filipino place around the corner, and every time I end up going there for her, dinuguan is going to be one of the two items in her “combo plate”.
Since I mention one of Candy’s favorites, I am tempted to bring up one of my own, Sushi. It’s ironic that the selection of delicious looking sushi above was for Candy, not me. I would end up being happy to take a few photos and then grab my trusted tuna or egg salad. I’m sure Candy may have slipped me at least one section of one roll, but I would not have taken much if any because this was more of a “prop” than my own personal snack.
I was about to try to figure out the names of everything, then I remembered that I took a photo with the covers on. While the sushi isn’t as beautiful and delicious looking under the plastic lids, the title of these delicious rolls is written out on them, which is good for a reference later, like now.
The photo above showed just a part of quite a feast. Those are Italian sandwiches on the left of the sushi, and both the trays of sushi are sitting on a large pizza in a box. The salt and lemon slices is for the margarita that Candy was making to go along with all of this. What an excellent feast.
Candy has had quite an opportunity to try so many different things, and at the same time, I am always ready with the camera to capture the look of this or that, even if it is the tenth time I am photographing the same food.
I have to admit that I don’t take photos of each and every food that gets delivered or cooked, but there are times when I am in a mood or the food looks so exquisite that I can’t resist grabbing a few pics. Now, I am made aware of the term “food porn” and the fact that what I am creating seems kind of close to it.
I realize that I don’t create the same kinds of images that are created by the “food stylists’ who prep food for commercial images, but then again, I create realistic images of real food the way I get it or sometimes the way Candy makes it.
I recently made a decision that cost me all my teeth without suitable replacement until I endure some paperwork hassle and probably a lawsuit. I am not regretting my decision to have all the teeth removed, because I would have probably had one or more dental abscesses by now if they were still around. I do regret allowing a dentist to take an impression of my mouth while I still had teeth, which I knew was totally backwards. I complained to her as she was struggling with doing it, and I got no response. I made the mistake of blindly trusting a “medical professional”, which is something you should NEVER, EVER DO.
Maybe I have such a gripe about weight loss surgery because the few things I have asked medical professionals to do they have kind of fucked it up. I mean, not having teeth from september of 2014 until now (may 2015) isn’t even such a big deal to me. I don’t really care about the cosmetic aspect, but the functional eating thing does get on my nerves a little here and there.
For all I know, creating food porn has been a way that I am able to appreciate and enjoy food since I can’t eat it in the typical manner without any teeth. I can use a heavy duty fork to crush things up and then swish the mashed up food in my mouth to enjoy the full taste, but that isn’t the same as real eating. I feel like I’m feeding a pet reptile, and that reptile is me.
I guess food porn does have a usefulness, because I am able to express myself creatively in the way I perceive food, and at the same time enjoy the food itself on a level that is not possible even with teeth. I guess I really love the food pics, because taking them can be a creative process in itself, and then seeing them later provides a pleasant memory of foods I have seen no matter if I ate that specific piece of food or not.
I have eaten plenty of sushi back when I had teeth, so now, every piece of sushi that I photograph becomes a part of a collective that I seem to trick myself into thinking I ate. Therefore, the food porn has allowed me to “virtually eat” some foods that I don’t crave as badly now that I can’t eat them in the way I traditionally would have with teeth.
Not having teeth has been really educational, and now I am just left with the sense of being ripped off. I worked hard to make sure I would end up qualifying for medicaid legitimately. The very first big process I wanted to make sure was done was getting all those rotten and half teeth out of my mouth. I didn’t care so much about having new, perfect, fake teeth, but it would have been nice to be able to use the pair that I did get.
Now I can’t get a replacement for five years unless I pay for them, while I see the dentures I can’t use sitting on top of the fridge every time I go into it. i guess I left them there to punish myself, and remind myself every day I don’t do something about this that I should. I adapt so well to new situations though, that not having teeth was something I really don’t notice sometimes. There are times recently I caught myself about to click my front teeth together like I used to, and they are not even there.
I would have to go back to see if my food porn content creation has intensified after having the teeth removed. It may not have, and even if it did, I’m not sure if that proves anything, but I feel that the food porn has been a helpful part in my adaptation to this new situation.
People use different kinds of “art therapy” and now I begin to feel that food porn is one of mine. I know I still have issues. The alcoholism is not really under full control, but I have adapted to a “hard limit” that I have been able to reinforce internally. That is pretty good, but just one of the initial steps to my control over alcoholism without total abstinence.
Alleged “food addicts” can’t abstain from food, so what does that tell you about every abstinence therapy involved in addiction today? I don’t think anybody has a clue about how to “fix” addiction, and in a consumer based, capitalist society, I don’t think it’s in anyone’s best interest to do so.
I have brought up super consumers over at the blog obesicorp, and I have this running gimmick going on over there about a consulting firm that helps companies make more profit by adjusting their business model to cater to the super consumer. i wonder sometimes about how my metaphor might be closer to the truth than I realized while creating it.
There was a time when I would rant and rave about an “obesity conspiracy” that would involve fattening people up, then selling them crap that doesn’t work to allegedly shrink them back down. If the crap that they sold to shrink people back down didn’t work on some individuals, offer one of a variety of surgical options, none of them actually proven to work every time either, sometimes actually killing the person.
That’s when I came up with “shrink’em or kill’em” theory. Of course, that’s just a tiny part of the entire obesity conspiracy theory, but it’s one of the darkest and most “morbid” parts, because it involves death, and the irony of killing one’s self in order to save one’s life. Or, I could put it as “risking your life to save it.”
Every doctor that Candy has seen has suggested surgery, and another irony is that she got sick after seeing so many doctors for things that they could not find. Candy went a few years without seeing a single doctor, and she never got really sick, just has breathing issues. She starts going to doctors and different places for tests, and she ends up getting a little cold that kicked her ass because her regular breathing issues got worse. So, seeing a doctor actually made Candy sick.
She’s getting better, but being sick helped her to lose more weight than she has in years. So, it makes sense to me that there are so many surgeries for weight loss because making someone “sick” actually helps them to lose weight.
Ok, now as I come back to add a few more recent photos, I realize how far off track I got when I started this post as “food porn”. It has taken me days to come back to finish this out of “drafts” and I think I am going to finally let it out!
Well, I was impressed yesterday with the delivery of some food that Candy ordered kind of by accident. She was browsing this new listing on “grub hub” and it was a Korean, Japanese, and Chinese variety type of restaurant. It was just out of curiosity that Candy would fill out a whole menu order, just to see how much it would cost to experiment a little bit with a food that she had never tried before.
The menu was impressive, and Candy was just playing around, so she picked out about $60 worth of stuff. She believes that she would have just closed the window at that point, or switched to doing something else, but somewhere along the line, she must have hit “enter” or clicked the one button to complete the process.
I was glad that I was actually home at the time it arrived, because I had just been out to do an errand, and Candy would have not wanted to answer the door. She would have been nude as well, so she would have had to travel all the way across the apartment and back in order to answer the door at all.
She would have probably assumed that the knock on the door was just a solicitation and ignored it, until they called her to tell her that the order was there and nobody was answering. It never came to that though, the faint initial knock was heard from the kitchen just before Candy was about to make a B.L.T. and a fruit smoothie.
There was a moment of confusion at the door with the driver, because Candy never told me she ordered, so I asked her. With the guy at the door, she’s like “I didn’t order anything.” The guy looks at his phone and says her name, and verifies the apartment number.
I realized that Candy had probably already put down the cash on this, so it would be ridiculous to attempt to deny the order and send it back expecting a refund. I told him that she just started a new medication and accepted the order.
Having been a delivery driver so many years into the past, you don’t want to be at the door with this kind of confusion going on, because it could be a much more sinister plot, and I know it would cause anxiety for him. I made a snap decision based on the entirety of the situation, knowing that the food would end up getting tossed, and Candy would be pissed that the money wasn’t going to be refunded.
Candy had a moment of freaking out, where she was like “I don’t remember ordering that!” She knew she had been playing around with that restaurant’s menu, but she swore up and down that she didn’t click “finish order”. As a result, she took a credit card number off the site so she would be forced to endure the whole process of entering it before an order could possibly be made by mistake or subliminal “hangry” slip of the finger.
Candy had been waiting all day for the delivery of a device that would be used for breathing treatments. For some reason, she put on make up early, and hours later, her eyes were burning with the eye liner she applied earlier. She was impatient, hungry, and she really wanted to order a big selection of Mexican food.
I never understand how Candy wants to continue experimenting with Mexican food because she doesn’t really like cilantro very much. Her taste palate is so very sensitive that she somehow picks up a “soapy” taste with that herb. It is used very predominantly in Mexican food, so she is taking a calculated risk with each attempt to order it.
The restaurant that Candy was checking out was kind of expensive, almost unnecessarily so. Japanese restaurants are not usually known for being very cheap, but the thought of Korean food makes me think that it should be more along the cost level of Chinese food. Either way, Candy picked out some exotic things that she had never tried, but assumed she might like.
Going over the receipt online after consuming all of it, she would call out the cost of each item in amazement and disappointment for how little food there actually was. Candy would express her regret by breaking down how she could have ordered food 3 different times for the cost of that 1 time, and it would have been an immense amount of food, if the type was a little less expensive!
Because of this expense, and because Candy had already mentally prepared herself to do a video eating Mexican food, she was ready to jump in there and consume the Korean and Japanese food for a video as if she had gotten exactly what she wanted, but she didn’t.
The food was really good, according to her, there was so little of it that I only had a teaspoon of broth that came with one of the dishes. I was satisfied with that one taste because I could sample the flavor palate of that type of food for the first time in my life myself. I’m not as driven to experience new and different foods as Candy is though, so I’m content with a can of tuna, some mayo, salt and pepper, a slice of cheese, and 2 pieces of toast smashed down into it so they soften up.
Without mentioning it repeatedly, all my teeth were removed in mid September of 2014, and the dentist fucked me over and tried to make a mold for dentures while I still had teeth. It is March of 2015 and I am still fighting with insurance over those fucked up dentures.
That is only relevant in the fact that eating has changed so much for me in that time. I can almost experience Candy’s wonder and satisfaction with new foods merely by filming her eating them. Even more, watching the videos later in review and editing also seems to have the same effect.
I realize that mirror neurons are at work when people get off on porn, but I didn’t realize until I started creating feeder and feedee content that there also seems to be something at work in that arena as well. By watching Candy eat these things, and enjoy them with such immense appreciation, I feel like I am enjoying them as well. When she smiles big because she is about to tear into some huge feast that most people could not begin to eat, I can feel her excitement and anticipation as if I am her for that brief moment.
That’s probably crazy talk in and of itself, but after editing hundreds, or maybe thousands of videos, something has started to sink in over time. I always thought I was destined to create “fat porn” the way I like it, the way I wish there was more of back when I was going through puberty and ordering VHS tapes in the mail with lawn cutting money.
Now, I have created thousands of hours of feeder content. It wasn’t what I used to masturbate to, because I was always a fan of full on hardcore with visual penetration and hopefully a facial that the model doesn’t flinch or gag during. 🙂
I used to express frustration in the way that the very few SSBBWs participated in the creation of the content that I enjoyed watching for that purpose. I wondered why they would veer off into more fetish areas like squashing, eating, and being dominatrix types. I am surprised by my own vanilla tastes in porn considering how I am attracted to women who have a BMI that would be considered super morbidly obese.
I am not into immobile women either. I had that whole experience with Alexis in Florida creating fatfantasy.net and biggerandbetter.net. She was already on oxygen when I met her, and now Candy needs breathing treatments. It really frightens me that she allowed this to progress to such a level, when I would have been happy creating hardcore content. The truth is, she could never get as excited about making hardcore or even fetish content as she would be making feeder content.
Being as adaptive as I am, I would have sensed this eagerness to produce something rather than nothing, and I ran with it. I am a classic enabler for that reason. At least I am an unwilling enabler, so Candy knows that I will not encourage behavior that I know will hurt her over time. I’ve read a lot of zodiac stuff lately because of Twitter, and from what I’ve seen, Aquarius are very future oriented.
I had this conflict of interests going on, between what I like to see, and what Candy wanted to do. Candy would win, because she is already my volunteer subject, and I am grateful for her to do anything in front of the camera I operate. She is the only one who does appear in front of my camera, and I believe it is not out of circumstance, but by choice.
I have experimented with the idea of working with other people, or bringing in other people to work with Candy, but unfortunately, that whole experience usually came along with some kind of sexual contact with people other than her. For years she was cool with this type of situation, but back in 2008 I sensed that she was growing weary of it, and I stopped attempting to recruit new models.
Now, I realize that I still have the ability to recruit, and if anything, it’s like riding a bicycle. Once you have had that experience of identifying and talking to the right potential candidates, it is so much easier than most people could imagine. If i walked into a bar with a professional looking video camera after midnight, I would probably get flashed by a few women who just didn’t give a fuck. That doesn’t mean they would model while sober, but the intent is there, and sometimes, all it takes is the right person to pull it out of them.
Now i have gotten way off course, but I started out wanting to describe one event, and I was hopelessly compelled to jump into a much more vast sea of thought. I realize that is one of my writing weaknesses, and something I have to work on. When I start writing though, I don’t always know exactly what direction I am going to go in when I start.
Blogging is such a string of consciousness type of writing, I never even usually do much more editing than the first draft. I’m sure it shows, but like an episode of Saturday Night Live, there might be %20 of really relevant and interesting info, and about %80 of me trying to figure out what is interesting to me.
I scroll back up to the title, almost intending to change it, but “unexpected korean food” is catchy, and I like it. This whole stream of thought began there, and I had this whole route I wanted to take, describing this food in intimate detail, maybe using this page as a notepad for remembering the foreign names to all these dishes that I have never tasted, and still haven’t.
What a segue back to the point, huh? 🙂
Candy is able to enjoy a virtual trip around the world by just eating from each country that is widely available in the diverse food climate of Las Vegas. There is just about every type of food here that you can imagine, almost all available to order, and all catering to a diverse climate of tourists from all over the world. I saw someone say on the show “No Reservations” that people come half way around the world to gamble in Las Vegas, and when they get hungry, as far as they are from home, they want to have a taste of it while they are here.
Because there are people coming to Las Vegas from all over the world, you don’t just have “Chinese food”. You have authentic Chinese dishes that you never would have heard of at your local Chinese buffet. There are dishes from Japan, China, and Korea all in one place, and they are all prepared in such an authentic manner as to impress people who just ate those dishes in those respective countries.
In the case of the mysteriously ordered Korean and Japanese food, I want to run down some of the dishes that Candy was able to sample, because I have just realized after needing to take a break to help Candy out with some stuff, I am spending a tad too much time here.
Candy really enjoyed this, and she should have, because the small platter with 3 or 4 pieces of pork and a piece of radish was kind of pricey. I tried a teaspoon of the broth, and it was awesome, but there was no way I would be sampling meat from such a small selection available! The restaurant where Candy obtained this says that it is 5 hour braised pork belly. Sounds delicious!
The wider shot shows nearly all the meat that was in this tray, along with a close up view of what Candy is assuming was a piece of daikon radish. Everything smelled so great, and Candy was able to finish off everything on the evening it was ordered, so I can tell she really did like it. More information on that dish could be found here.
The next dish was Char Siu pork belly with steamed bun and baby spinach leaves with cucumber. Candy really liked this one too, although again, this was a relatively small portion for the cost. I don’t try to be cheap when it comes to the food that Candy really wants to try, but she is the one who is disappointed to see what looks like less food than one Chinese lunch special in 5 dishes worth $60.
Not being totally sure exactly how to eat it, Candy makes little sandwiches with the steamed buns and the pork, along with the little veggies too. That worked out pretty good for her, she was using a steamed bun to wipe up the pork belly sauce from the bottom of that tray.
Here is some more info on char siu pork belly preparation. This is where I realized that this dish is Chinese and Cantonese and not actually Korean, even though the place Candy ordered from had a Korean theme with Chinese, Cantonese, and Japanese dishes available.
Karaage is the name of a Japanese cooking technique where meat is deep fried in oil, just like french fries. One dish that Candy ordered was karaage chicken with Kewpie mayo and mixed salts. The technique is similar to tempura but obviously the batter is different, just like American fried chicken. Candy enjoyed this just as much as she would have fried chicken, but I’m sure that she wished there was more of it there! These little trays were pretty small as it is, the mayo and mixed salts nearly took up as much room as all the chicken. There may have been five or six pieces of chicken in there, and Candy loved it, but she can tell that the Japanese tendency to eat smaller portions doesn’t seem to work very well for her. Of course.
When I review all of the dishes, it appears that one was Japanese, another was Cantonese, and finally I get to a Korean dish. I was totally misusing the hash tag Korean Food Pics on Twitter, my bad. The small selection of galbi bbq short ribs was highly satisfying to Candy, but again, the portion size was a serious issue for her. For the cost of this dish, she could have had me pick up an entire side of ribs and slap them in the oven, but again, this was more than just an eating experience, it was a cultural experience. I had the opportunity to learn about this food just like she had the opportunity to eat it.
The ribs were cut thin, and served with white rice. Candy didn’t need to use any of the mixed salts, Japanese mayo, or hot mustard on these. They were quite tasty, and I noticed that she seemed to enjoy them to the degree that I had to stop everything and get more of a close up on her face as she ripped the meat from the bones with her teeth, eating with her cute fat little sausage fingers.
The next and final plate was a 3 way of kushi. I looked that up, and it’s a Japanese technique for cooking on skewers. In the case of these 3 samples of kushi, they were all prepared over binchotan charcoal and served with mixed salts as well in the little tubs. This is another dish that is actually Japanese inspired, if the name kushi was given to the preparation. Yet another item that I attached to Korean food photos on twitter mistakenly because Candy just said “Korean restaurant” without telling me it was an Asian variety restaurant with a Korean theme.
There was wagyu beef kushi, which Candy really liked, and when I research it, this name is also associated with kobe, which is another cut of meat that you are going to be paying a bit more for than you would for domestic beef. That’s why each one of these little entrees was around $8. Again, this was an accidental order, and at the time she did it, she says she wanted Mexican food. She still wants Mexican food, so that will probably be her next trip on her food around the world tour. She won’t stop there though, she already has plans to explore each region in South America in the process.
Back to the kushi though, there was also pork belly kushi, and you know she loved that. The final one was beef tongue kushi. Candy mentioned that the beef tongue was kind of unique, and while she ate the hell out of it, that’s something she might not be so eager to go for in the future. Pork belly is always a safe bet, because it’s basically bacon, and you know Candy loves some bacon. The wagyu beef seemed kind of wasted on her, because she would have been just as happy with much larger chunks of domestic beef on more than 3 little skewers.
When I ask Candy to recollect exactly what she thought of these, she said that the only one she really liked was the wagyu beef. She said the tongue was interesting, but she would not get it again. I may have said that but I took a break and don’t feel like reading back.
It was a surprise when it showed up, but once it did, and Candy got over the shock of having accidentally ordered it, she consumed every single bite, even if some of these dishes were not her favorite ever. This was an experience that was quite unique, because Candy often makes a plan for exactly what she wants to eat, and then goes about doing everything in her power to get it. On this occasion, I wonder if her order was accidentally on purpose, because she was just curious about Korean food, and she did go to the effort of creating this exact order, even if she was playing fantasy football with food choices.
Candy was able to finish off that entire feast, although it was barely half of what one big Chinese lunch plate would include, or a crap load of burgers and fries, or so many chicken nuggets that Candy would never want to eat one again in her life. That evening, after the last of the Japanese and Korean feast was finished, she still wanted something sweet. Peppermint ice cream did the trick, while I waited on a data transfer to make more room on her C: drive.
This was a really fun experience, even if most of that day was spent doing work on other things while waiting on a delivery to show up, so that Candy could accidentally order food to show up even later, just before trying to cook something she thought she really wanted. The day after this feast, Candy didn’t waste any time to whip up a BLT sandwhich along with a bowl of left over chili with beans over white rice.
Another blog post must come to an end, it seemed like it would never end, and I am the freaking one writing it! 🙂