Posts tagged sushi
Well it had to happen sooner or later! All that time with a regular pattern of updating a clips4sale store with a new clip in expectation of being able to pay certain bills with that money is now over.
It’s a good thing that the website (exoticbbw.com) actually made MORE money than the clip store this month, because if it hadn’t, I would be in some deep shit financially. As it stands, I have given in to the temptation to donate freaking plasma in order to be able to make up for the LOSS that clips4sale has generated at this point.
Regularly, there would be an attempt to upload at least one new feeder clip per week, and there were times when Candy might skip a week because she just wasn’t up to getting made up and filmed doing something that she loves doing so much. Even if Candy really enjoys binging, being filmed while she does it seems to take away some degree of enjoyment for her.
This is ironic, because over the past couple of years, Candy would make the sacrifice in binging in front of a camera knowing that she would not enjoy it quite as much, for the sake of being able to financially support the types and amounts of food she wanted to enjoy.
Now, with clips4sale generating a revenue of about $50 per clip (6 clips this month), it is obvious that Candy will have to go CHEAP on the food, which means no more big feasts, at least until something changes with this crappy revenue from each clip.
Something has changed over there at clips4sale, and I am not quite sure what it is, but something has seriously been altered, shifted, edited, cancelled, or something. Some form of advertising or promotion that they used to employ must have completely collapsed, because over the past few months, income dropped dramatically, and it has stayed at the same low level even though there was an attempt at adding 6 clips in one month instead of just 4.
I have come to the realization that sites like facebook and twitter are pretty much useless to promote anything now. Candy and I used to have a term “ya-losers” which represented the losers on yahoo who would compliment and beg for free stuff YEARS AGO. They thought that a little flattery could get them some free content, because for whatever reason, they decided that since yahoo was free, everything that is promoted on yahoo should be free too. That graphic above shows how there are winners and losers in this business, and if you aren’t “sinfully divine” you are basically FUCKED right now on clips4sale as a SSBBW, or “super fatty” or as Candy calls them “blob chicks”.
Now, that has moved over to twitter losers and facebook losers, asking for “chat” and wanting to have their email read to Candy, in the hopes that being told for the thousandth time she is “so sexy” will have her offering to sit for hours in chat with some loser who isn’t spending one penny for her time.
In twitter, there is a monster machine of compliment and flattery, which would be awesome if that kind of thing paid one cent towards any bills that were covered by the clips4sale income. At this point, all the compliments are more annoying than flattering, because as we watch revenue go down, we realize that a majority of people who try to contact Candy at all are usually the wankers that want free shit, not the people who paid for a clip, got off to it, and went on with their fucking life.
Porn used to be something that was sold in a seedy type of bookstore downtown, and the customers did not interrogate the store clerk about “When was this made?” and “How much does she weigh right now?” These new questions and concerns came from some assumption that porn will be “interactive” and every time some jerk off pays $15 for a clip, they should get a half hour or more of free chat in the process. Some want to play “20 dumb ass questions”, and some even ask about free “video chat”! What a bunch of losers.
Now, I have started using the hashtag #freeloadingfeeders because as much as they seem to compliment Candy’s work, even calling her “legendary”, they are doing it in forums where more than a dozen clips are shared freely at a time. I just had to get a bunch of shit removed from a file sharing service that is in Taiwan, and fortunately they actually took the shit down when I filled out a DMCA complaint form. It took a few days, but that shit is gone now, and I will be keeping an eye on the fucking blog that keeps posting this free shit.
I’m sure that many other blogs post the same links, so the actual blog is not important, what’s important is that I am WATCHING now, and I will keep filling out that DMCA form anywhere and everywhere I see my shit distributed for free.
It figures that I was ok with a “little piracy” when it was promotional and it helped me make more money with my work. Now, I realize that all the free shit out there is basically over-riding the need to pay for anything, because there are at least 3 to 5 “Candy replacements” out there now, doing all the same shit over and over. Some have whole groups of fatties who get together and work out some kind of deal to split up all that “money” they WON’T BE MAKING.
Maybe they just do it for fun now, or just for the food. Candy has located at least one SSBBW out there who loves to binge on cam so much she does it right on youtube absolutely free. This is exactly what we needed to help boost our sales!
People seem to believe that porn will just keep rolling out no matter how much money it generates, but that is simply not the case. I understand totally now why so many models QUIT EVENTUALLY as I talked about in another blog post in the past. Sure, there will always be free shit, but YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR and that shit is pathetic, but hey, whatever.
There is no more incentive to keep creating this stuff if there is no money being made from it, period. Watch as this economy keeps dropping into the shitter, and see how many of these lovely fat women quit doing this shit because it is NOT WORTH THEIR TIME FOR FREE.
People will keep producing stuff, and I guess eventually, there will just be a few conglomerates or REALLY POPULAR FATTIES that keep going because they are the ones who are still making some money. In the meantime, I get hit with alleged compliments that are REALLY INSULTS because people are TOO FUCKING DUMB TO REALIZE THAT WE DON’T APPRECIATE PEOPLE STEALING OUR SHIT OR WATCHING IT FOR FREE.
Either way, there is a quit date on the horizon at this point. I appreciate the money that was made in the time that it was made, but I don’t fucking work for free. Candy doesn’t either. Now that she sees the money going down, she feels somewhat insulted and it is doubly difficult for her to stomach making any kind of sacrifice in vein. She would rather binge off cam because “Fuck that shit it’s not going to make money anyway.”
So, the freeloading feeders can keep asking “How big is Candy?” and shit like that, and they will keep getting either ignored, or told to shut the fuck up and buy a fucking clip to find out. Odds are, if they are asking, it’s because they DON’T WANT TO BUY ANYTHING anyway. That is leading me to assume that the d-bags that ask me shit are the least likely to spend cash, so they should fucking be ignored. The ones buying the shit are wanking to it and going on with their life, because they actually have one. The ones chatting me or Candy up are the losers that are “too good to pay for porn” or something.
I think I’ve gotten most of my irritation with all this out of my system now, but it should be noted in a very public way that I am working on something really cool to do that makes me money in the future, and I’ll be very happy not to depend on the fickle nature of porn and it’s “fans”. I can see why some people who have quit porn are so irritated by it, and by the shadow of former fame that continues to follow them even though the MONEY DOESN’T.
I used to walk around looking at women, thinking to myself “Wow, that one would get a great reaction online!” and now I realize that I would never want to condemn someone else to the pitiful fate of being led on with some regular cash at first, then the disappointment and let down of making less and less because of so many women and their grandmothers, literally, jumping into the porn and/or tease game. I even got to meet one woman who has an impressive body that I KNOW people would love to see at all angles doing all kinds of “adult” things… Well, that SHIT ISN’T HAPPENING so this body is ALL TO MYSELF, FREELOADING FUCKS!
I even had this woman ask me flat out if there was any way I could sneak her into my work without giving up her identity, and I was like “Fuck that shit, these d-bags will have your shit all over the place trying to figure out who you are, so fuck them, it’s not worth the whole $10,000 you MIGHT make per year showing off, then watching that dwindle down to EVEN LESS OVER TIME. This shit has me wishing that I had used all the free time I had to figure out another way to make better money doing something that didn’t cater to such a group of low life freeloaders like porn surfers.
Yeah, I said it, and believe me, the most popular SSBBW making the most money is THINKING THE SAME THING. They are just smart enough not to say anything online (or maybe not when it comes to the freeloaders). Either way, I don’t go to strip clubs, even if there are fat women, because it’s depressing and horrible to watch women beg these cheap mouth breathing freaks for cash (me included, I’m a cheap bastard too).
I know, “Tell us what you really think” right? Well, that’s what I really think. The people who have written to me asking this or that, pestering me for details that they could easily pay to see, are even more extremely irritating to me now that there is literally NO MONEY IN THIS SHIT ANYMORE. All these new BBWs and SSBBWs want to jump into this shit because now it’s “ok to be a fat model”.
Yeah, I never thought I would wish for the days when more fat women hid themselves! There was a GOOD REASON fat women were so HARD TO TALK INTO MODELING back in 1998 when I did my first fat porn website… Now that there are just a dozen more than “internet capacity” the money has run out like a SSBBW PORN BUBBLE BURST.
Take it from me, when I see “she’s legendary” in the comments on a forum where my shit is being FLAT OUT STOLEN AND SHARED I get pretty offended, and Candy does too. That’s why it is only a matter of time before this shit is not going to be produced anymore. Fortunately though, I will STILL HAVE MY SHIT DELETED AS A FUCKING HOBBY just to irritate the fucking freeloaders. I’m going to make my shit as rare as a Prince music video on fucking youtube, just for fun, out of spite to these freeloading fuckers.
I may seem kind of angry, but I’m watching a business I built back in 2003 go down the toilet. Even worse, it was my SECOND ATTEMPT because that big bitch Alexis from fatfantasy.net basically stole my first SSBBW project away from my young dumb ass in 1998. That makes it even worse, because had I been given the advantage of never having to FUCKING START OVER I may have been able to milk this shit for even more before EVERY FAT WOMAN AND THEIR GRANDMOTHER STARTED FUCKING MODELING. Even worse, they can “barely model” at all and still suck out of that limited pool of fat jerk off money on the internet.
Now there are so many bbws that appear somewhere on the internet, some bbws call themselves models when they have no website, and they have not formally appeared in any capacity. Those are really “escorts” though, and that’s a whole other story because I am in Las Vegas, where you literally CAN’T THROW A STICK WITHOUT HITTING AN ESCORT. So, the escorts call themselves “models” now trying to get around laws against prostitution. Yeah, they AREN’T MODELS. They will say they can “model for $300” but don’t be fooled, the cops will get them eventually. It looks like the show “Cops” on television makes busting prostitutes seem more like a hobby than a “job”.
I’ve probably gotten all of this angst out of my system by now. I’ll be having an interesting new year’s eve, and not quite what I would have imagined just 2 years ago. So much has changed, and I have done a terrible job of documenting it better here. I’ve had such an interest in writing, but I never really went anywhere with it. Even this post is more like a bitch out session to the entire internet than a “regular blog post”, but that seems to be my “style” when I get busy typing. It’s like therapy for me to get all this out, and while some people would not consider me very “professional” for doing it this way, I have never done anything business related exactly how other people would do things. I do things MY WAY and I did not fail to make money for over a decade with that philosophy.
Now I am just a dinosaur in this realm though. I don’t pull out a funnel to force feed, I don’t even get squashed regularly, and Candy doesn’t want to squash me because she doesn’t want to fuck me up for a clip that won’t make money anyway.
Candy was never one to do “whatever I told her”, she is independant, and she can be hard to work with as well. It is no surprise that very few efforts to have her model with other people have been followed through on. Candy has her own anxieties and her own hesitation when it comes to doing certain things and trying to model with other people. Even if there were a line of people wanting to model with Candy, it would be difficult for her to make it happen unless the person was very likable AND persistent. It would help if they didn’t have “some dude” start talking to Candy about modeling rather than the model herself, and it really isn’t going to happen if someone comes across as wanting or NEEDING shit. A friend in need is a friend indeed… There is a good fucking reason for that saying, and I’ve had to learn it the hard way, thanks again Goddamn Patty…
Unfortunately, people with both of those qualities very rarely exist, it’s usually one or the other, and there is usually a giant AGENDA that rules over it all. You just have to hope that the agenda they say they have matches the one they REALLY HAVE. I won’t even get into the bullshit with “Goddess Patty” that never should have happened… Fucking con artist… I’ve been told that the well known plus sized (some say SSBBW but she won’t) model Tess Holiday has ripped some people off before too, but it’s all forgiven, because she’s so popular and “likable” now. Yeah, don’t believe everything you see on television, or movies, because those people can be con artists JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE, and if they used to work in media and quit, DON’T BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT A COME BACK. That move is used to rip your ass off so quick you don’t see it until they left town.
I never realized how much fun I was having while taking photos of food, until I started to review all of the photos that I have created over just the past few years.
you know, the tragic irony is that i had all my teeth removed, because it was the only way to end the immense pain that i experienced on a regular basis. now, maybe because i don’t possess the teeth to enjoy it all, based on my own decision, i am more obsessed with photographing food than ever.
The word “dynasty” has the word “nasty” in it, which is ironic, because I’m listening to ‘the prodigy’ “nasty“.
This is my tribute to the almighty powerful consumer food product consumer for something known as yellow number five. Even though apples are red, someone, somewhere would probably add some yellow no. 5 just to “zazz it up” a little.
This was some really sexy meat, at an all you can eat casino buffet in Las Vegas. I know that you can find a big buffet just about anywhere, but this city is packed full with so many cool places to eat. There is such a diversity in the people who visit, and that diversity shows in the many types of foods that you can obtain.
Candy has had an opportunity to try out so many foods while living here that may not have been available where we lived before, Baton Rouge Louisiana. There was quite a selection there too, but mostly the large franchised places that exist just about everywhere. I am not quite sure if Candy could have found such variety so easily back there. Russian, Italian, Filipino, Cantonese, Japanese, Korean, and of course Indian food. All those excellent kinds of foods are easy to find here in Vegas, and Candy didn’t hesitate to try out just about everything she could find. I think that the only type of food I have seen all over the place here that she hasn’t tried yet is the middle eastern stuff. Indian food comes close, but it’s not quite like Mediterranean.
In the casino buffet where a few of these pics are from, they had an assortment of different national foods right there. In the photo above, there is a taco station in the “Mexican” section, and then right next to that there was a section called “homestyle” or something, and I am guessing it was “southern food”.
There was even a section called “American” but I think that was mostly “southern” or “soul food” because of the greens and smoked sausage. I know there was a section called “international” too, but I could not figure out exactly what that was supposed to be because everything was covered and served by someone behind the counter.
Living in Vegas means that there is a Filipino place in walking distance, right in the parking lot with a strip mall that also includes about 6 other restaurants and a supermarket. In that one strip mall and enclosed parking lot there is a Jack In the Box, a Taco Bell (new), a China Star (Chinese buffet), and then there is the Filipino place, a Thai BBQ, and one small Chinese place in the strip mall itself.
Oh man, I’m forgetting about a small Mexican restaurant in between all of that! We’ve never even tried the small Chinese or Mexican places that lie in the strip mall itself, but Candy has tried every restaurant in the parking lot except for the Taco Bell, only because it hasn’t even opened yet. It will, and that will make the closest Taco Bell in walking distance too, which is ironic because I would be better off walking there to work off the added calories of eating there!
Filipino food really trips me out because there are whole fish in some dishes. Yeah, head and all. I’m sure that is similar to some Vietnamese dishes, which I think we have yet to try out so far. Candy’s favorite dish from the Filipino place is Dinuguan, which i have tried and it just tastes like beef liver to me. I do like liver though, but there is a very complex assortment of other flavors in the spices they use with it.
Now that I read up on it, I realize that they don’t have to use much liver if the base of the gravy is pork blood. I guess that’s where the liver or mineral taste comes from. It is Candy’s fav from the Filipino place around the corner, and every time I end up going there for her, dinuguan is going to be one of the two items in her “combo plate”.
Since I mention one of Candy’s favorites, I am tempted to bring up one of my own, Sushi. It’s ironic that the selection of delicious looking sushi above was for Candy, not me. I would end up being happy to take a few photos and then grab my trusted tuna or egg salad. I’m sure Candy may have slipped me at least one section of one roll, but I would not have taken much if any because this was more of a “prop” than my own personal snack.
I was about to try to figure out the names of everything, then I remembered that I took a photo with the covers on. While the sushi isn’t as beautiful and delicious looking under the plastic lids, the title of these delicious rolls is written out on them, which is good for a reference later, like now.
The photo above showed just a part of quite a feast. Those are Italian sandwiches on the left of the sushi, and both the trays of sushi are sitting on a large pizza in a box. The salt and lemon slices is for the margarita that Candy was making to go along with all of this. What an excellent feast.
Candy has had quite an opportunity to try so many different things, and at the same time, I am always ready with the camera to capture the look of this or that, even if it is the tenth time I am photographing the same food.
I have to admit that I don’t take photos of each and every food that gets delivered or cooked, but there are times when I am in a mood or the food looks so exquisite that I can’t resist grabbing a few pics. Now, I am made aware of the term “food porn” and the fact that what I am creating seems kind of close to it.
I realize that I don’t create the same kinds of images that are created by the “food stylists’ who prep food for commercial images, but then again, I create realistic images of real food the way I get it or sometimes the way Candy makes it.
I recently made a decision that cost me all my teeth without suitable replacement until I endure some paperwork hassle and probably a lawsuit. I am not regretting my decision to have all the teeth removed, because I would have probably had one or more dental abscesses by now if they were still around. I do regret allowing a dentist to take an impression of my mouth while I still had teeth, which I knew was totally backwards. I complained to her as she was struggling with doing it, and I got no response. I made the mistake of blindly trusting a “medical professional”, which is something you should NEVER, EVER DO.
Maybe I have such a gripe about weight loss surgery because the few things I have asked medical professionals to do they have kind of fucked it up. I mean, not having teeth from september of 2014 until now (may 2015) isn’t even such a big deal to me. I don’t really care about the cosmetic aspect, but the functional eating thing does get on my nerves a little here and there.
For all I know, creating food porn has been a way that I am able to appreciate and enjoy food since I can’t eat it in the typical manner without any teeth. I can use a heavy duty fork to crush things up and then swish the mashed up food in my mouth to enjoy the full taste, but that isn’t the same as real eating. I feel like I’m feeding a pet reptile, and that reptile is me.
I guess food porn does have a usefulness, because I am able to express myself creatively in the way I perceive food, and at the same time enjoy the food itself on a level that is not possible even with teeth. I guess I really love the food pics, because taking them can be a creative process in itself, and then seeing them later provides a pleasant memory of foods I have seen no matter if I ate that specific piece of food or not.
I have eaten plenty of sushi back when I had teeth, so now, every piece of sushi that I photograph becomes a part of a collective that I seem to trick myself into thinking I ate. Therefore, the food porn has allowed me to “virtually eat” some foods that I don’t crave as badly now that I can’t eat them in the way I traditionally would have with teeth.
Not having teeth has been really educational, and now I am just left with the sense of being ripped off. I worked hard to make sure I would end up qualifying for medicaid legitimately. The very first big process I wanted to make sure was done was getting all those rotten and half teeth out of my mouth. I didn’t care so much about having new, perfect, fake teeth, but it would have been nice to be able to use the pair that I did get.
Now I can’t get a replacement for five years unless I pay for them, while I see the dentures I can’t use sitting on top of the fridge every time I go into it. i guess I left them there to punish myself, and remind myself every day I don’t do something about this that I should. I adapt so well to new situations though, that not having teeth was something I really don’t notice sometimes. There are times recently I caught myself about to click my front teeth together like I used to, and they are not even there.
I would have to go back to see if my food porn content creation has intensified after having the teeth removed. It may not have, and even if it did, I’m not sure if that proves anything, but I feel that the food porn has been a helpful part in my adaptation to this new situation.
People use different kinds of “art therapy” and now I begin to feel that food porn is one of mine. I know I still have issues. The alcoholism is not really under full control, but I have adapted to a “hard limit” that I have been able to reinforce internally. That is pretty good, but just one of the initial steps to my control over alcoholism without total abstinence.
Alleged “food addicts” can’t abstain from food, so what does that tell you about every abstinence therapy involved in addiction today? I don’t think anybody has a clue about how to “fix” addiction, and in a consumer based, capitalist society, I don’t think it’s in anyone’s best interest to do so.
I have brought up super consumers over at the blog obesicorp, and I have this running gimmick going on over there about a consulting firm that helps companies make more profit by adjusting their business model to cater to the super consumer. i wonder sometimes about how my metaphor might be closer to the truth than I realized while creating it.
There was a time when I would rant and rave about an “obesity conspiracy” that would involve fattening people up, then selling them crap that doesn’t work to allegedly shrink them back down. If the crap that they sold to shrink people back down didn’t work on some individuals, offer one of a variety of surgical options, none of them actually proven to work every time either, sometimes actually killing the person.
That’s when I came up with “shrink’em or kill’em” theory. Of course, that’s just a tiny part of the entire obesity conspiracy theory, but it’s one of the darkest and most “morbid” parts, because it involves death, and the irony of killing one’s self in order to save one’s life. Or, I could put it as “risking your life to save it.”
Every doctor that Candy has seen has suggested surgery, and another irony is that she got sick after seeing so many doctors for things that they could not find. Candy went a few years without seeing a single doctor, and she never got really sick, just has breathing issues. She starts going to doctors and different places for tests, and she ends up getting a little cold that kicked her ass because her regular breathing issues got worse. So, seeing a doctor actually made Candy sick.
She’s getting better, but being sick helped her to lose more weight than she has in years. So, it makes sense to me that there are so many surgeries for weight loss because making someone “sick” actually helps them to lose weight.
Ok, now as I come back to add a few more recent photos, I realize how far off track I got when I started this post as “food porn”. It has taken me days to come back to finish this out of “drafts” and I think I am going to finally let it out!